Women vs. Women—The Article I Never Thought I Would Write!

I have queried a number of very impressive young female executives about the role senior women in their various organisations have played in their development. The responses ran the range of being very supportive to incredibly non-supportive. Non-supportive! Why is that? More importantly, what is one to do about that? What have I found in asking the question—why? Many of the female executives that have ascended to the highest levels of many corporations have, in many cases, done so on their own. No other women were available to them for mentorship or guidance. Many had to “play the game” as it was put to me, by being as manly as the men. Some of the lucky ones had men who were enlightened enough, I would say confident enough in themselves, to take a woman under their wing to mentor and guide.

 

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Does Mentoring Really Work?

We hear so much about the power of mentoring, but yet I’m often asked whether mentoring really works, and, if so, how does it work. Even long-time mentoring partners will ask “How do you know that you are having a true mentoring relationship?” I took some time to explore these questions with some mentoring partners, and would like to share a few things that I discovered through those conversations. The first step for mentoring partners is beginning the relationship after making the connection. As we all know, a connection is just the beginning. Each person only knows what they observe on the outside or read about each other.  A mentee must know what they are looking to gain from a mentor and be able to discuss that with them.  So, how do you break the ice?  How does one begin?

 

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Put Out the Flames of Communication or Fan Them

It’s not easy being a fireman. Every day we have the opportunity to fan the flames around us or to put the fires out. Literally, firemen and woman have a physically demanding job. They have to be able to carry 30kg of equipment and a hose that weighs about 100kg when at its water capacity. Then there are all of those steps that they have to be able to go up and down at will. For most of us, the physical requirements alone rule out this profession. When it comes to communication, we all have the ability, figuratively, to be a fireman. We can put out flames, we can de-escalate situations. The other option is that we can also be the pyromaniac; we can fan the flames of discord between us or the flames between those around us.

 

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